


Antique

by chasing_the_sterek



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Childish Clint, Childish Tony, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, Domestic Avengers, Exasperated Steve, Gen, Natasha's used to Clint being childish, Slice of Life, Steve is offically Done, Tony and Clint are Bros, but they don't show it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 20:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5554925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasing_the_sterek/pseuds/chasing_the_sterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint thinks antique means something's old. Tony thinks antique means something's valuable. Steve just wants to read his paper in peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Antique

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't even take half an hour to write this, so sorry if it's awful. And yes, I'm perfectly aware that I should be updating other fics, but I'm procrastinating.
> 
> Inspired by the prompt "Antique"

Clint snorts. "That's not an _antique_ \- it's not even _old,_ for the love of anything bow-related!"

Tony adopts a look of abject horror. "Something doesn't have to be _old_ to be an _antique!"_

"Yes it does!"

"No it doesn't!"  
__  
"Yes it does!"  
  
Steve closes his eyes and breathes evenly through his nose. He may be _America's golden boy,_ as Tony's put it upon occasion, but he doesn't have the patience of a saint - something necessary if you want to deal with a coffee-deprived Clint and an exhausted, insomniac Tony before eight o'clock in the morning.

Natasha snorts, takes another sip of her coffee, and swipes at something on her tablet. "They're two children in adults' bodies," she says without looking up. "And this is their way of expressing their love for each other without saying _I love you."_

Steve's eyes flick back to the two men. Tony looks like he's on the verge of throwing something. Clint looks like he wants to go and get his bow and arrows.

"ANTIQUE ISN'T OLD! IF SOMETHING'S ANTIQUE THEN IT'S EITHER VERY RARE, POSSIBLY THE ONLY ONE OF ITS KIND, OR HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE!" Tony yells.  
_  
"STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!"_ Clint hollers back.

Steve abandons his paper (he likes having a physical copy to read in the mornings, sue him) and starts to massage his temples. "Stop fighting," he tells the two morons in a flat tone, ignoring the wave of déjà-vu that comes from saying the exact same thing at least once a week for at least half a year.

"He started it." Tony and Clint accuse in unison. "No, _you_ started it!"

Steve resists the urge to bang his head hard against the table.

"- Dummy's an antique, and _he_ isn't old!" Tony's saying.

Clint snorts again. "If he's half as old as you are, then he's an antique."

"Are you saying I'm _old?"_ The engineer demands angrily.

"What gave it away?"

"That's super rude!" Tony shouts. It would sound ridiculous if anyone else said it, but somehow the billionaire manages to make it sound tough, hard, and cold.

"It's true, though!" Clint crows. "Is that some grey hair I see there, at the temples? Or maybe it's a sprinkling of snow - no, wait, it's June -"

Tony swats the archer on the arm. Hard. "I think you're looking in a mirror, birdbrain! If your classification of antique is old - which _isn't the right definition, by the way_ \- then I think you fit the bill pretty well. What are you, sixty?"

Clint bristles. "If it were a mirror then I'd be looking into the eyes of the most attractive man in New York -"

"Oh, so it's a piece of glass, then, with me behind it -"

"- and old _is_ the right definition, Steve, tell him it's the right definition -"

"- and personally I think Steve'll take _my_ side, because by your _woefully incorrect_ definition _he's_ an antique -"

Clint hisses. "Well, why don't you actually _ask_ Steve instead of just _assuming_ he'll take your side when he'll _obviously_ take mi-"

"I agree with the dictionary." Steve monotones, picking up his paper and heading to the common room for some quiet.

The common room, where the dictionary is. (Damn it, there's no getting away from them, is there?)

Tony and Clint tumble into the room behind him, naturally immediately starting a mad race to see who can find the tower's only dictionary and then the word _antique._

"Ha!" Tony cheers, and then there's a groan from Clint and a sudden rustling of pages. _"Antique - collectable object such as a piece of furniture or work of art that has a high value because of its age and quality. Adjective: one, having a high value because of age and quality, and two, belonging to ancient times. Verb: make (something) resemble an antique by artificial means."_

There's a very long silence.

"So. . ." Clint says slowly.

"It's both." Tony says hollowly.

Steve glances up from the article he's scanning, and sees the both of them staring blankly at the dictionary in Tony's hands like it's personally offended them.

Steve snorts. "Both of you, go and get something to eat. Bruce is downstairs now; if you're lucky, he might make you an omelette. Tony, no coffee. You need to go to bed straight after breakfast."

Tony slouches sulkily back into the kitchen, grumbling under his breath the whole way, and Clint slinks after him - probably to claim the coffee machine.

Steve hides a smile in his mug. As irritating as they can be sometimes. . . the Avengers team aren't really all that bad to live with.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Steve just needs a break.
> 
>  
> 
> By the way, [this is my tumblr if you want it.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/total-master-of-geekiness)


End file.
